So I promised those reading this blog that I would be totally honest with my feelings/emotions/problems/successes throughout the healing process. Let me start by saying this. This morning was the roughest I've had physically. Other days have stunk emotionally, but today was by far the worst body-wise. First of all, the bed that I suggested we order for me to sleep in back home in Jackson was a foam bed. After surgery, the doctor said I could sleep in any bed where I felt comfortable. Well...scratch foam beds off the list. If anyone reading this is about to have spine surgery, I discourage you from getting a foam hospital bed. Maybe other people have had more positive experiences, but here was mine.
I woke up incredibly stiff. By stiff, I mean I felt like my body was an immovable brick that ached horribly. For those of you who haven't seen my usual routine (which is probably most of you), getting out of bed first requires me rolling over on my side (logrolling as the doctor calls it). I then have someone stand at my feet and help guide my legs to the ground as I push up on one side of my body, trying the entire time to keep my spine completely straight. The name of the game post-scoliosis surgery is keeping your spine completely in line at all times. No twisting, turning, or rotating. I'm only allowed to bend forward at my hips about 15 degrees. Most of the time I can't make it that far without my back starting to spasm. Anywho, I digress. It took someone helping me to roll over since I was basically sunken into the foam mattress. Then, rolling on my side required even more assistance. After I pushed myself upright, I was stuck. I normally have to use my arms and upper body strength to push myself toward the edge of the bed so that I can stand up. On a foam mattress, my hands simply sunk deeper down and couldn't help me move at all. Long story short I eventually got out of the bed and almost could not walk because of the pain.
Since it was a Sunday (technically I'm writing this early Monday morning), we were afraid that the company who brought the bed couldn't bring a different mattress. Dad was nice enough to go downstairs and fashion a board that could make the foam a bit stiffer in case I couldn't get a new mattress. He and his engineering mind never cease to amaze me. Thankfully Mom worked very hard to get a guy to come out and swap the mattress for an inner-spring one like I had at Gretchen's. That was a HUGE blessing, and I am sooo glad he agreed to help us out on a weekend. Problem one solved.
For some reason, probably because of the stress on my body from worrying about the mattress (plus all of the physical work my body went through yesterday), I got incredibly nauseous. Even my nausea medication didn't help. I won't go into details, but let me tell you getting sick to your stomach after spine surgery does not feel very good. I'm so scared that I'll pull a muscle or move the titanium rods or push something the wrong way. Thankfully, Mom had me eat some saltine crackers and drink some ginger ale. That problem slowly went away.
I began getting lightheaded from all of the pain. It's strange...I've had way more hip pain than back pain since the surgery. However, today I most definitely had back pain. Plus I had cramps in my stomach that made me want to double over. I tried walking it off but I couldn't make it down the hallway without Mom standing behind me with a "barf bucket" and Dad holding my hands guiding me while keeping me from falling. They were able to get me into bed safely and securely, wrapped up in covers and aligned straight. I eventually was able to fall asleep.
Five hours later, I wake up to it getting dark outside. I guess my body needed more rest than I realized. I got up and was feeling 100 times better than before. While Mom reheated some food that Dad was nice enough to go get, I walked around the house a few times. I was able to sit in one of the new chairs Dad got when remodeling the family room and eat some dinner. Dad and I watched Bounty Hunter and I decided to just take some time to relax and watch a movie. After that was over, we watched The Dark Knight as I made my rounds around the house. As repetitive as it is, I know that walking will help me get better. I won't heal unless I walk like my doctor told me to do for therapy. Later on Mom and I watched Cupcake Wars and I walked during commercial breaks. I better get some serious leg muscles by the end of this healing process. :p
I'll end tonight's post with a few thoughts. First of all, I am amazed at the power of mental control. Believe me, I know that my medicines are doing a great job of helping me through this healing process, but I'm also getting a lot better at "mind over matter". I have to tell myself that the pain is part of who I am right now. I'm not supposed to feel rosy all of the time, so I have to take the pain and accept it. Relaxing tensed muscles is another trick while breathing deeply. Half of the time I cause my own pain because I freak out and tense up and get worked up over little things. Even if you haven't just had surgery, take some time to breathe, relax, and see how blessed you really are. Life could be so much worse. Did this morning upset me? Yes. Will I have more days like this? Probably. However, I know that my quality of life will be improved long-term because of this surgery. Many of my friends and family have to keep reminding me of that. :p Now I need to get to bed because tomorrow is a big day. I get to see Macie! She is my chocolate lab mix that I love and miss sooo much! I haven't seen her since before my surgery, so I am excited to see her. I probably won't be able to be near her for a while since she is kind of a spaz and would probably jump up and hurt me, but I'll be happy to be in the same house as my baby. There's always something, however small, to look forward to. Goodnight :)
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