Beautiful warm day

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. Not only was the weather amazing, but it just made you want to get out and about. Dad and I went to the post office to mail the cards I sent to my students. I miss them so much...Within a month I'll be back and hopefully sub as much as possible to see them and all of the other great students in that school. Plus, I'll get to visit lots of other great schools. It should be an awesome experience. As I make progress each day it makes me eager to try more and more. I still need to keep my limitations in mind, but I am excited that I can do more on my own as the weeks pass. After dropping off the package at the post office, Dad and I went to Stooges for some lunch. I had a delicious grilled chicken sandwich and a salad. Of course I enjoyed my favorite dressing, wine and cheese. If you haven't tried it, you should. Dad walked around with me for a bit, which makes it much less boring. Now I know why people go to the gym in pairs...it makes for great conversation and motivation. When Dad and I got home, I sat down to relax for a minute before getting to work. Do you ever have those moments when you just want to sit, breathe, and close your eyes for a bit? I did that for a minute before Nathaniel came over to pick me up. We went to the park and he encouraged me to take the longer trail. Reticence aside, we went for it. Once again, it was helpful to have someone alongside me to cheer me on and keep my mind off of pain. Today the pain has not been much of an issue...I had a little bit before lunch, but it went away. Let's hope we keep it at bay for a while. Anywho, Nathaniel and I ended up walking for two miles before we headed back to my house. I was so happy to see Ben and Adam at the park. It had been so long since I had talked with Adam, so it was great to see him. Even though I saw Ben yesterday, I still enjoyed running into him. We got back to my house and watched a little TV before he went to work out. Mom and Dad had taken a nap, and when they woke up we tried to figure out what was for dinner. Getting in and out of the car is much easier than it has been in the past, but it's still no cake walk when you do it multiple times a day. We decided to stay home and watch a movie Dad rented. He put in "Red", but I didn't get very into it. I quarantined myself into a room alone while I did an online assessment for one of the districts to which I am applying. Once that was over, I watched some Office. That never ceases to put a smile on my face. :p After an episode, I worked some more on applications and found a good stopping point. I have plenty to focus on tomorrow, so I feel comfortable what I accomplished today. Lots of walking, nice company, good conversation, and a few moments that made me smile from ear to ear. Those moments seem to be increasing recently. :) On that note, it's bedtime. Goodnight everyone!

One post for two days :)

I shall divide my post into two sections...Here we go!

Monday (February 14) aka Valentine's Day: I woke up and did the usual...Walk around the house a bit, try not to scream when my back flares up, etc. I was having a pretty good day as it went along. Not too much pain, pretty stoked about the evening's events. It's funny how some days you are so busy being excited/nervous/etc. that pain seems to come secondary. This was definitely one of those days. As the afternoon wore on, I began the preparations for the night. I took a shower, got dressed, did the makeup, and so on. I had bought a new outfit (shoes, shirt, earrings ring, etc.) so I was excited. A few things went wrong as I was getting ready. I'll spare you the details, although I'm sure they would add a bit of spice to my story. Nonetheless, I was ready to go in time for Dad to drop me off at Nathaniel's house by 6. As I walk in the door, there stands Mr. Golden, all dressed up and looking suave. It turns out he was not taking me to dinner, but had spent the afternoon cooking up something delicious for us. I was super hyped, as much of an understatement as that may be. He had made everything from an appetizer to salad to pasta to dessert...My inner fat kid rejoiced. I was blown away by his culinary abilities, and I mean that wholeheartedly. We had sparkling grape juice to drink of course, since my medications prohibit me from having anything dangerous. I had a blast just sitting there, eating delicious food, and talking with a pretty amazing dude. After dinner he opened my present which was (embarrassingly) a poem book that I had written. It covered all of the goings-on since we met in September. He was kind enough not to laugh in my face as he read it. :p We ended up watching some episodes from Season Six of The Office...My favorite show! I loves me some Michael Scott and Jim Halpert. I successfully sat on the couch with my legs laying on the ottoman. With a pillow behind my back, I was set and ready to go! As we were watching it, I had very little pain. I'm telling you, I am pretty excited about the progress that I've made over the past few weeks. It's amazing that I am leading a fairly normal life only six weeks after having my back cut open and my spine adjusted. Although Nathaniel hadn't seen very many episodes of the show beforehand, I made him a believer, I do declare! :p We then went upstairs and I got to listen to a sweet jam session with Nathaniel and his roommate Mark. Those two boys plus guitars and a harmonica equal awesomeness. I was pretty impressed by their abilities, and may even have joined in with a little shaker action during one of the songs. :) Once Clay got home, we all just chilled and talked in Mark's room. It was great getting to know the boys better. They're good people. They were of course curious about my surgery, and I tried to describe it as best as I could without making it sound horrible. Yes, there is lots of pain. Yes, I get very frustrated when I can't do something for myself. But overall, I am gaining patience and empathy as every day passes. When I have a student in the future who has a setback similar to mine, I can help them as best as I know how. On a tangent, I feel the same way about heartbreak. Since I've gone through it, I can now help my future daughter when she goes through the same thing. I can honestly say "I know how you feel" and mean every word. God gives us horribly rough situations to sift our way through to show us in the end that the strength was there all along. As true as it is, I digress. Nathaniel was kind enough to get the car started and warmed up before I went outside. A nice ride home while listening to some classical music was a wonderful end to the night. He is a true gentleman, and one that I know God placed in my life to show me that amazing people do exist, and we can't take them for granted. If you're reading this right now and thinking "Hey...So-and-so really means a lot to me and I haven't really expressed that in a while", go for it. Don't miss the chance to tell people how much you appreciate them and are blessed that they stand by your side. We really are so lucky to wake up in the morning, take a breath, and approach the day with a positive attitude. Does my attitude turn a bit sour sometimes? Sure. But I'd like to think this surgery has taught me that negativity only reverses progress. :)

Tuesday (February 15): I woke up a little bit late, but was very lucky to have a tiny amount of morning pain. I think we've gotten this down to an art where I can manage my medications and getting out of bed just right. Of course there are days when my body is like "Hey guess what? You're going to hate me for a while". We eventually make amends. :) I ate a delicious lunch of leftover mac and cheese from Outback. If you have not had Outback's "mac a roo and cheese", I highly advise you try it. On my list of mac and cheeses, it probably has the #1 spot. Once again my inner fat kid chimes in...After lunch I watched a little TV with Mom and then got dressed to go walking. Amber came over and was nice enough to pick me up. After stopping at McDonalds for something to drink, we went to the park and walked around the lake. One lap around is a 1/2 mile, so at this point in my recuperation, I should make 3 laps a day. I was so stoked to get out of the house to walk, since my dining room is only exciting the first thirty times you walk past it. We walked and got to talk about all kinds of things. From surgery to relationships to friends and family, we got a lot off of our chests. I love that girl so much, and I appreciate all she has done for me pre- and post-operation. I'm blessed to have such a strong Christian woman as a friend. We took a few strolls around the lake and then decided to leave the chilly wind and get in the car. Arriving at my house, we chilled for a little bit as she checked her Facebook. I figured since I had just knocked out my whole walking regimen for the day, I could treat myself to a little job hunting on the web. I feel bad, because something came over me and I got super tired/melancholy/weird as she and Mom were talking. I didn't contribute much to the conversation, but boy did I have a relaxing time on the couch for a bit. I'm so glad I can get into and off of couches/chairs/car seats easier now. That is one area where I have definitely gotten better. I no longer require an army of pillows to accompany me in car rides. :) Amber left to go watch her adorable nephew, and we got dressed for dinner. Mom, Dad, and I headed out to the Chinese buffet near El To's. We ran into some people we hadn't seen in a while, so that turned into a lengthy chat session over Chinese food. Once the feasting was over, we went to Walmart. Enthralling, right? Dad and I stopped at the Redbox and rented Dinner for Schmucks. We enjoy our new bluray player, hehe. I made sure to get some healthy food so that I don't pig out on junk like I usually do. This whole self-control when it comes to eating thing is new to me, so we'll see how long it lasts. :p No, I really do think the surgery has caused me to desire being healthy in more ways than one. Straighter back, smaller waistline, more exercise, etc. I am excited for the momentum to carry me into a period when I can actually do more activities. Of course I have the motivation now, but I can only bend forward ten degrees...AKA not very much haha. But I make do, and I look forward to what is to come. In more ways than one. :) Goodnight all!

Sunday Sunday Sunday!

Hooray for being able to go to church! Haha I was able to take my medicines at the right time that allowed me to get up and at 'em this morning. We got dressed and headed to good old St. Paul. The service was schweet, and we had a sermon from our interim pastor. The focus of the message was on why we go to church. It made me ponder a few things. Also, I was pretty stoked to have a new viewpoint on a song that's always sung. In "Trading My Sorrows", I've always sung the lyrics the same way. Today, one specific line had a new meaning for me. "I'm trading my sickness, I'm trading my pain, I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord." Pretty much exactly what I need to be doing. I was able to sit through the service without too much bodily interruption. I did get up during the offering and walk around in the back of the sanctuary. Since my doc said I shouldn't sit for such long periods of time, I decided to take a little walk before sitting back down. After church I got to talk with our pastor's wife, who sadly told us how he is very weak and about to undergo a stem cell surgery. His battle with cancer isn't looking very good at the moment. Prayers would be much appreciated. I saw an old family friend and he said he was glad to see me up and around. Since I've been on the prayer list at church for the last month or so, he said he was happy I'm getting better. "I'd slap you on the back, but that wouldn't do you much good," he said. After church we ate lunch at Casa Mexicana. I was so glad to see Mrs. Dooley there! She is such a blessing to so many people, and it was awesome to talk with her for a second. I also got to see Alex and Milissa, which was good since I haven't seen them in ages. Lunch was delicious, as pollo feliz generally is there. After lunch we headed to the mall. I wanted to get a new outfit for Valentine's Day. Plus, I figured it was a good way to get in some of my daily walking. Dad went to Barnes and Noble to read as usual while Mom and I perused the shops. I found a pretty cute outfit (accessories, shoes, and all) for pretty cheap. Woohoo! I normally don't like shopping for clothes, but it was fun today for some reason. After a while I did get somewhat wore out and my back started to ache. However, I would say it was worth it. :) We stopped by McAlisters on the way home to get some tea and dinner for later. The ride home was somewhat painful, so I decided to take a nap when we got back. I actually got to lay on the couch, which felt great. It was a change, so I'm sure my body liked laying on something other than an inner spring mattress. Macie decided she would jump on top of me, which was a bit of a shock. Thankfully she didn't hurt anything, and got off without causing me too much anguish. As jarring as it was, it felt nice to be normal for a second, just snuggling with my puppy. I woke up to a very pretty sunset and felt rested. A few rounds around the house were in order, then dinner. We ate tasty sandwiches and soup and then started to watch the Grammys. I was a tad unimpressed by this year's show. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Usher and Lady A. However, I don't think that Arcade Fire has enough talent to win what they won. Regardless, it was fun to watch. During commercial breaks (and acts I did not like) I would walk around the house. I worked a little bit on Nathaniel's present, which I cannot reveal on here in case he reads this before tomorrow. :p I chatted a bit with some friends, tied up a few loose ends, and now it's time for bed. Eeek...1:35 is past my bedtime. But hey, I'll probably wake up in a few hours anyway. Gotta love my trusty old back lol. I'm starting to own this whole scar thing. Yes, I do have a gigantic scar down my back. Yes, I did survive a major surgery. Am I banged up a bit? Of course. But I have a feeling once it's all said and done I'll be showing off my titanium rods like they were a Miss America crown. I am who I am. :) Goodnight, everyone!

Sometimes life just makes you laugh

This morning I changed my pill schedule around a little bit (as directed by my nurse) so that I could have some meds in my system before I tried getting out of bed. Considering the getting out of bed routine was causing me mucho pain, I gave the new regimen a try. Thankfully, I was up and ready to go sooner than in days past. I got to walk around a bit, pet Macie, and check to see if all the snow had melted. In the time it took me to make a few rounds around the Kasten abode, I got ridiculously nauseous. I won't gross you out with details, but let's just say taking those two medicines so close together on an empty stomach was a bad idea. Dad went to go get some lunch, and I thought I'd be hungry for it by the time he got back. Negative. I ate a few bites and watched some TV with the 'rents. Once again I started walking around the house to get my mind off of my stomach. Before I knew it, it was a little after 3:00. Nathaniel stopped by since our plans had changed last night. I was just glad that his mom was doing better, so I felt honored that he would drop in. We got to talking with Mom and Dad for a little bit, then realized it was almost dinner time and neither of us had eaten much. Since he had never tried Wibs, I took him to try some of Jackson's finest bbq. After dinner we went back to Casa Kasten and vegged out for a little bit. We ended up watching The Notebook since it was on TV. Talk about tear jerker...I didn't end up crying but by golly I felt like I should, haha. It's such a great movie! I actually sat on the couch criss cross applesauce for the whole movie! Look at me go, haha. I used to be so afraid to sit on the couch since it took so much effort getting back up, but things are getting easier day by day. After the movie was over he headed out to spend some time with the boys and I talked with Little Lynne Dawg for a bit on the phone. Now I'm getting ready to head off to bed. Last Sunday I couldn't go to church because of the pain. I'm doing everything I can to make sure tomorrow is different. You hear that pain? Try and keep me from doing what I want. Before long you'll be gone and I'll be back to normal. :) That's right. Although a few things today made me sad (mostly because of stupid people taking advantage of others who don't deserve the hurt), I had a rather fantastic day. Don't you just love those? I'll try to bask in my current state of happiness and head off to dreamland. See you tomorrow! :D

Life is like a box of chocolates

You never know what you're gonna get. Can you tell what movie I watched tonight? :) It was a good end to the day. I started off in quite a bit of pain. Probably one of the worst mornings so far. I have no idea why my pain in the mornings has become so severe, but I'm willing to try anything to make it stop. Maybe it's the mattress I'm sleeping on, or possibly my body shifting when I don't mean to in the middle of the night. Either way, it merited a call to my doctor in St. Louis. Eventually I was able to walk on my own, just in time to watch The Price is Right. Making my rounds, I was able to catch bits and pieces. That's generally how my TV watching goes, but it works for me. I got a few things together for Dad to run an errand before lunch. I owe him bigtime with all of the favors he does for me. When I feel comfortable driving, I'll owe him about a jillion favors. My day was pretty much the same as usual. I did have more random pains throughout the day, but that is to be expected. I have been taken off of about half of my medications, so I expected to be feeling more pain as those go away. I am a bit curious to see what the doctor says on the 28th. Hopefully it will be a good appointment, with him saying I haven't completely screwed up my spine somehow. I know it sounds crazy, but when I'm hurting so bad it brings tears to my eyes, I can't help but think I've done something wrong and caused the extra pain. I'm allowed to try and turn over on my side in the middle of the night, but I'm scared to move something too much or shift something just enough to harm my back. I've heard (and felt) my lower spine pop, which makes me a bit uneasy. Mom keeps reassuring me that I can't do anything to hurt myself. I guess when I have a lot of time to think, it makes me come up with all the reasons why I shouldn't have had surgery. I think about how I felt before the operation, and wish I hadn't taken it for granted. Then I get my right mind and remember that this was necessary. Later in life I would have regretted it had I not gone through with the surgery now. It will make my quality of life so much better. These are the things I have to tell myself when I can barely move without screaming. The pain is temporary. A year from now I'll look back and say "Hey Kelley...Why did you whine so much? It had to happen, it happened, and now I'm totally back to normal." I'm blessed that my current state will eventually go away. In the past week, two of my friends have had people they love get pretty sick. It's forced me to take my life now, pain and all, and thank God that I am making the progress I am. Please say a prayer for those who are in need of healing. Maybe this can be a time where you look at yourself and see how great you really have it. If you're healthy and in the company of people you love, smile and relax. I'll try to stop being such a negative Nancy and think clearly about my situation. All things considered, I'm doing just fine. :) Heck, I'm doing better than fine. Anyone reading this who has had a hand in making my life post-op easier, thank you. I appreciate your love and support. Even the tiniest bits of encouragement have made a huge difference. Thanks for putting up with my occasional freak-outs. I started this blog to put other people facing scoliosis surgery at ease, and it's actually done more for my healing than I intended. That being said, this entry is done. Goodnight guys. :)

Melancholy once again

One interesting aspect of recuperating from a pretty big surgery is the tendency to throw pity parties. I'm normally the type to avoid such behavior, so I'll try not to vocalize one on here. However, it is strange how your emotions can roller coaster even within the confines of 12 hours. I woke up this morning, did the usual "holy cow my back/side/hip/leg hurt and I can barely move so I should probably take a pain pill" thing, and eventually loosened up. I ate a little yogurt and watched a little TV. I finished up an application for a local district and handed it over to Dad. He dropped it off at the post office while picking up some lunch for us. Once again I enjoyed some delicious Wibs. I'm going to miss that when I head back to St. Louis. Turning the TV to news, I watched the coverage of Mubarak's "stepping down". I can't begin to imagine what's going to happen there...I actually decided to lay down and take a quick nap after waiting for Obama's comments. When I woke up, Amber was over at our house doing Mom's hair. She is such a great friend in so many ways. After she finished fixing up Mom, we looked at her wedding photos. She and that Aaron guy make a pretty cute couple. :p We hung out for a while and she ended up staying for dinner. After dinner, we did a little catching up with people from the past. It's so weird how much our lives have changed in a four year span. Trying to imagine where my life will be even six months from now makes my head spin. Thus, I will try not to think about it. :) While I was working on a piece of writing, I had a momentary lapse of intelligence and had some trouble with a grammatical concept. I called up Nathaniel, and of course he answered my question. Helpful as usual, he encouraged me to keep up with the progress on applications. I got my teaching certificate in the mail today, which definitely lifted my spirits. Four years of work came down to this, so I was relieved to have it in my hands. I also got a sweet email from someone I worked with at my apprentice teaching school, so that made me happy. I miss all of them so much...Hopefully I can come visit soon. Once Amber left, I realized I hadn't walked much today. For some reason I was ridiculously motivated to walk like crazy. Jamming to a little JB helped me focus on the task at hand. Walking really does make me feel better, so I need to remind myself that I will heal even faster if I take the time to do so. Let's just say I walked so much tonight that my feet ache. That would explain why I'm laying in bed updating this. After the high of walking left, I started feeling pretty down. I can't put my finger on it, but I suppose it's a mixture of anxiety, frustration, cabin fever, and apprehension. At the moment I'm not the happiest camper, but I know these feelings will pass. I know that my blessings far outweigh my troubles right now, and I need to remind myself of that. The verse that I need to focus on is as follows: "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. On that note, I'm going to head to bed. Sleep well, everyone. :)

Beautiful snowy day

I woke up this morning to snow. Hard to believe, right? For some reason, it was so beautiful today. I was entranced by the flakes as they fell to the ground. Part of me wanted to go out and run around in it, but the other part of me said "Hey Kelley. Remember when you had that spine surgery? It wouldn't feel very nice if you slipped and fell." Thus, I stayed inside in the warm house. I am excited for the next winter when I can go outside and play with Elly and Wilson. I hope they won't be too old or too cool to go sledding with their Aunt Kelley. I had a delicious lunch of leftover chicken from Broussards. Afterwards, I devoted my time to finishing this certain application I've been putting off. It felt very nice to finish it up, put it in an envelope, and hand it to Dad to mail. Unfortunately, I feel like working on applications has taken over the time that I should be walking. At this point, I need to be walking more than sitting and applying to District XYZ. If any of you have my cell phone number, text me and remind me of the benefits of walking. :p Thankfully I did a good bit of walking today that I feel comfortable with hitting the sack. Something tells me regardless of how much I walk the day before, I will still wake up in pain. Regardless, I must obey my doctor's orders. For dinner Mom made my favorite: broccoli and cheese. We also had pork chops and sweet potatoes. I watched a little Toddlers and Tiaras while working on another application. I've found that turning the TV up loud enough entertains me while I make my rounds around the house. Also, I've started wearing house shoes on my feet as I walk because my feet were getting very sore while walking barefoot. Sometimes I go to sleep with lots of lotion on my feet in socks. It helps to keep my feet from drying and cracking in this crazy winter weather. Hopefully tomorrow I can get to see Grandpa or go out in public somehow. Last week's sudden outburst of outings wore me out, but cabin fever is setting in once again. Thankfully, I think this weekend is shaping up to be a pretty great one. :) I'll get to see some people I love spending time with, and possibly relax with Macie while watching a bluray or two. I do need to take this time to heal, even as much as I'd love to be back to normal and do everything on my own. Patience is a virtue, and one that I do not have, haha. Before I know it, it will be summertime and I'll be a bit more independent. Then comes August and hopefully (fingers crossed) a job. There I go getting ahead of myself...I need to stop planning so far ahead. It just stresses me out, which leads to back pain, which leads to more stress. Guess what that means? It's time for bed. Goodnight, everyone! :)