Looking back three months later

Wow! It's been a while since I've updated my blog, so I figured I would harken back to the days of pain pills and steri strips and post something. Three months ago today I underwent spinal fusion surgery. Dr. Keith Bridwell at Barnes Hospital in Saint Louis fused four vertebrae (L1-L4) together with bone morphogenetic protein and solidified this fusion by placing eight screws and two titanium rods on each side of my spine. Almost four and a half hours after the operation began, I was sent to recovery. Thinking back on the past three months makes me incredibly grateful. I am unbelievably blessed to have made the progress I have, held every day in the hands of a God who cares enough about me to heal my wounds. Getting out of bed this morning, I remembered how much it used to hurt. Simply rolling over on my side, pushing up with one arm while bracing with the other, and sitting up while keeping my back straight used to cause horrific pains to shoot throughout my back/hips/legs. I remember a couple mornings where screaming and crying resulted from the mere shifting of my back a couple degrees in one direction or the other. Now I am able to get out of bed without anything more than a tinge of discomfort simply from rolling around in crazy positions while trying to sleep at night. I remember not even being able to move my hips an inch to the left or right without having someone pull the sheet underneath me until I was positioned correctly. Keeping hour by hour records of when I took what pill and how long it will last until I could take the next kind was just another facet of the day. Since I last updated my blog, a couple of things have happened. I have applied to 25 different school districts, and I am excited to hear some good news before too long. I'm continuing to foster my patience as I wait and see what God has in store for me. The second week of March I moved my stuff back to St. Louis and started substitute teaching. I have been fortunate enough to see some of my friends that I missed so much while I was recuperating back in Jackson. Many times I have driven back to J-Town for various reasons, getting to see fabulous people like Miss Amber who make me realize how fortunate I am to have wonderfully supportive friends. A little over a week ago, my grandpa (PaPa) fell and broke his other hip. I came down to visit him, and was sad that he had to spend his 94th birthday in the hospital. Yesterday was my mom's birthday, so I came down to celebrate with her. Basically, it has been a great couple of months. Last Thursday was the recruitment fair for Webster teachers and I was so fortunate that I got to go and see some of my long lost education friends. After the fair, I went to Cardinal's Opening Day with Dad and Nathaniel. We relaxed, enjoyed the game, and had a few laughs. Nate got to meet Erin and Nathan, which was cool since she's heard me talk about him for so long. We also saw Lilo, yet another random connection we have that completely amazes me. Without getting too giggly and smile-tastic, I'll just say this. Nathaniel has brought me so much support, comfort, laughter, and humility over the past few months. I am so blessed to have him as a cheerleader as I emerge from this surgery stronger and more resilient. My family has been incredible as usual. I could not ask for a better group of loving individuals who have been selfless and loving beyond what is expected of them. Looking back at my worries before the surgery, I have to almost laugh at the fact that I was concerned with how I was going to make it. I was so scared that things weren't going to fall into place. The amazing thing? I am in a much better place now than I was before the surgery. I have a healthy spine, second chance at weight loss, encouragement from countless sources, and a God who refuses to give up on me. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me, supported me, made me smile, or helped out in any way since January 4th. The surgery was on my plate for 10 years before it happened, and now I am so thankful that it is in the past. I've met some incredible people who have endured the same surgery, and I am fortunate enough to share my success story with them. Hopefully people will get hope from hearing how I have healed. My intent was that I can, in some way, hold somebody's hand as he or she approaches spinal fusion surgery. Was it rough? Of course. Does it still suck that I can only bend ten degrees forward? Yes. Do I get frustrated when I drop something an inch in front of me but can't pick it up? Sure does. But what was the alternative? My spine twisting so much that it causes my ribs to compact on my internal organs? No thank you. I'll take a year of recuperation before a lifetime of aches and shooting pains. However, I could not have done it without my God and my family/friends. So if you are reading this, thank you for what you have done. I appreciate it more than you could know. :) <3